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A little over twenty four hours ago, the world lost a great man. I… - Confessions of a Soapbox Messiah
Step unto my pulpit, childrens...
A little over twenty four hours ago, the world lost a great man. I don't mean he was great in that he was famous, made millions, led people across the desert or anything like that. Nor did he fix or race cars, watch endless team sporting events or hunt grizzly bears with just a sharp stick and his wits. I just think he was a great example of the things so many men lack today, and that he did a good job teaching me how to be one by example.

Yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning we both loved so much, my father quietly took his last breath and found the peace that had been so elusive these past few years.

For those unaware, my father was diagnosed with Chronic Obstuctive Pulmonary Disease around eight or nine years ago. Given its rapidly progressing state at the time, his initial prognosis was that he had a number of months or a couple of years left at best.

I remember hearing this same estimate so many times that after a while I decided that doctors must pull numbers out of a hat or decide on them with darts or something. Regardless of how or why (but with many thanks to my mother for her excelent care), he managed to continue on many years past their initial estimate. Long enough to see his granddaughter to her third birthday.

He lived long enough to teach me about compassion and that anyone can be forgiven (including yourself.)
Long enough to show me that art can be elegant and soft, wild and grotesque or anything in between.
He lived long enough to make me listen and wait.
Long enough to teach me that everything and everyone should be questioned.
And he lived long enough to show me how all of it can (and should be) be art.

None of that seems to matter today, because it just feels too damned short.

There's so much left to say, to appreciate, to love and to learn about about him. But today, all I have left are my memories, and the many words and pictures that he recorded throughout his life.

Yesterday morning he embarked on a new journey, and for that I am grateful as it is one that has freed him of the prison his disease and body had become. As much as I miss him, he is truly in a better place now.

Tomorrow, I start my own journey. Over the course of the next year, I will be getting to know him better though those same words and pictures. I invite you all to come along for the ride. Dad always had a way of making a road trip memorable, and I'm sure on this one he won't disappoint.

--> http://poetbear.livejournal.com

Current Location: United States, Arizona, Tempe
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Miles From Nowhere (Cat Stevens)

8 comments or Leave a comment
n3rd3tt3 From: n3rd3tt3 Date: March 28th, 2012 02:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
*HUGS* I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds wonderful. I wish you and yours peace and love.
bardcat From: bardcat Date: March 28th, 2012 11:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your father and I "talked" back and forth on LJ for many years. He was always so affirming. Thank you for letting us know about his passing. I know how much you will miss him. We share your grief and sadness.
jeepbear From: jeepbear Date: April 5th, 2012 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you.
As my mother has said, his LJ friends were his window to the world these last few years, and we are thankful for your support of him during this time.
(Deleted comment)
jeepbear From: jeepbear Date: April 5th, 2012 09:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, A. Give me a holler sometime. Same ol' number. :-)
jeepbear From: jeepbear Date: April 5th, 2012 09:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, K. :-) He was. *HUGS*
thekimmie From: thekimmie Date: March 29th, 2012 03:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
So very sorry to hear of your loss. -hugs-
jeepbear From: jeepbear Date: April 5th, 2012 09:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, Lil'Miss. :-)
heatherflower From: heatherflower Date: October 25th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my god, I didn't know he had passed. :( I know you have a lot you have gone through and still are and I am so sorry this is so late. My deepest condolences for your loss. He was a good friend to me and I feel like an ass for not knowing this happened.
8 comments or Leave a comment